ASMA HAMID

idayumumtaz It's New Year's Eve and it honestly doesn't mean anything special to me. With my bladder full and JRabbit playing in the background, I'm keying this out not as a celebration (because logically, I'd be out partying instead if it was) but as a reflection for this year.  The year started out great! My really long holiday that I wished and still wish would never end was filled with so much fun stuff. Started driving, learnt korean, hung out with my mates, got accepted, went and dropped out of UTP, met Jong Kook, was left unsupervised for 2 whole weeks while my parents were in the UK and my application for MARA's loan to study abroad was accepted. Keying this all down just made me realise how productive my year has been.  However, I was then sent to Kolej MARA Kuala Nerang, Kedah (which was my own choice) to start studying again; as if 6 years of studying wasn't enough (I never really studied back in primary). And in KMKN was where I fina...

This week was filled with head-cracking thoughts of how to complete my foundation project successfully, annoying people who kept on telling me how I wouldn't be a good wife, babysitting immature 18 year olds and tiring days. I thank God for giving me a dad who was willing to help me and my group mates from step 0 til the end, one who took a break from work to check on us and our project without asking for anything back (except for a 4 flat from me, I bet).  We started the week with complications, unsolved problems, questions with no answers and ended it with a complete project, new skills, less money, confirmation about Zafran's gender and so many more. I found out how hard it is to read circuit diagrams, how soldering needs practice and how I don't think I'd be able to live with any other guy other than my dad and my brothers. It seems as if I have to start with the preparations of my wedding with engineering.  Semester 2 is coming up prit soon and I'm not...

When my parents sent me to KMKN in July, they told me that the next time they'd be back is at the end of Semester 2. But then, yesterday, they were waiting for me downstairs at my block's parking lot to bring me home. Feeling touched and loved. And I'm thankful. May they send me to the UK next and visit me every half a year or even stay there with me. Mak also came along and we stayed at Darulaman, Jitra for a night.  Went to Kuala Perlis for dinner because there's nothing in Jitra.   Had a nice time there. It seems as if Papa knows that sometimes, the littlest thing after something stressful could make you feel so much better.  I'm nearly half way into my semester break. Can I just extend the break please. I've forgotten about the existence of my blog for a while but that's only because I had to study for my finals and once I got home, I had to catch up doing things that I wasn't able to do back in college. But those are all excuses. Plus I have a j...

here is a random picture UTP's Educamp post Since I got through UTP's educamp, got into UTP, now out of UTP and bored, I'd like to tell you how the interviewer made me feel while I was getting interviewed. I got to the interview room, all nervous mind you. Not forgetting my manners, I knocked on the door, went in and said Good Afternoon. The interviewer looked at me weirdly and said "Assalammualaikum." I was taken aback. Okay, my fault for not greeting him the way muslims greet each other but he could've replied my greeting before saying that. With an awkward laugh, I replied and sat down after I was told to.  He asked me to introduce myself. Not writing a single thing on his paper while looking at me weirdly. And so I figured that he didn't want to know all that. So I started telling him how I was a prefect and etcetera. He then started writing stuff down. I was like "THANK GOD! I'm finally saying something right." He could...

Missed breakfast and a trip to the open gym but woke up to the sun which is something rare. 7 and all ready for school every morning. Waking up late, once in a while is such a pleasure but honestly, waking up early during the weekends is the best feeling ever. Up and awake early for a whole day of doing things that you want to do. Waking up late is taking its toll on me, I'm hungry. 

And so I question and I ask myself.  Where did we go wrong? What did I do that wasn't enough? What did she do that wasn't enough? Why do we keep fighting? Why do we keep misunderstanding each other? Why are we dealing our problems like this? Why couldn't we kiss and make up? (Okay probably not kiss) But what's happening to us? Are we going to just end the friendship we've built? Are we going to waste the years we spent apart from each other but still managed to stay best friends? Is this how people grow apart from their friends? Is this it? I miss us. The us who would spend our nights up laughing and prank calling people. The us who would call each other when we feel troubled. The us who accepted each other's flaws. The us who were confident when we're together. The us who believed in each other. The us who believed in our friendship. SLEEPOVER JOM, girls

I would choose experience over fun anytime. Because experiencing something is fun, but not all fun things will give you a valuable experience. Facilitated a motivational camp (in MRSM Pendang) for the first time ever with the MPPs of KMKN, my roommates and a few of my batch mates - many who I just realised existed when we got there.  I just found out why all the teachers has been going around saying how the Engineering UK will stand out. The majority who went to facilitate were Engineering UK students. Out of 10 girls, 4 were Engineering UKs which in ratio to the amount of girls in the program is a lot (there are only 6 of us girls).  All in all, it was fun. Had Syed as my partner and he could have handled the whole group all by himself, to be honest. Sometimes, we'll only be able to see someone's strengths when they're in action. I was surprised to be honest. Shared tips with the SPM kids, played games with them and made them feel mentally tortured. Was told b...

an offline journal from Mami It has been a while. Gone through countless number of quizzes, MPP meetings, raya holiday, raya celebration, mid semester exams, mid semester break (where I went to Cameron with my family and had a whole load of peaceful fun!) and now I only have one and a half semester left until UniKL!  I told myself I would blog every day. Didn't happen. Who would've thought that life in college would be this busy. Or is it because I keep on keeping myself busy?  Life in college has been tough. Messing. But I miss home. There's really nothing fun to do here. If I'm not doing my assignments or studying, I'd be trying to sleep or sleeping. It's the same thing over and over again. But if there's one thing I look forward to while being here, it'd be going home. The Raya Haji holiday is coming soon... I honestly could not wait. But after that I'd be buried in books for the finals. 4 FLAT I'm liking my roommates. Hannah ...

So many things had happened this week but I've just been too busy with staying up late because of MPP, my homework and to study. Rajin Asma is rajin. It's all because of Hannah, though... seriously. It's like she's always studying so I feel like studying too because if I don't, I'd feel guilty. And so, I study too. People here are all so smart that I feel dumb.  I have a few assignments and I'm stuck with Amar for most of my assignments. Death, come at me bro. He talks too much for his own good and he has a Kedah accent that he couldn't get rid off. He just texted me in his loghat. "We ahad ni dateline utk antaq tajuk and dpa kta sekali dgn buku log." And he said that I'm only in his group cos he feels sorry for me... Sigh.. loner memang macam ni.  During physics tutorial, cikgu was like... "Asma Mahfuzah..."  "Saya"  "Asma ke Mahfuzah?"  "Asma"  "You are the translator?" ...

Amar, Zafran and Amir during discussion. It was a typical day; with me waking up for sahur (popia that Hannah got me) and a bottle of water. I didn't have enough energy to finish off the water in my water bottle which got me hungry half way through the day. It wasn't an excuse for me to eat rice though, so I didn't. When Wani saw me in class, she told me that my mata was 'sembab', I am still not sure what it means but it has got something to do with my eyes and a panda.  Had to pick a club for cocu and I registered myself in EMC (English Motivational something), I was the only one from SPC July... which was a bit sad. Tried to get my classmates to join but it didn't work. Oh well. Atleast FiST UK has a wakil as it's a badan college. I was sitting at my desk and then I heard the PRD teacher go "Tahun ni first time tak ada budak UK join PRD..." in a sad tone. Which made me sad aswell. Had to go to a kursus MPP and after that, I went back to ...

I cried... in front of people. It was embarrassing fullstop. There were a few people who didn't have a group yet including me. However, they wanted to put me in a group with someone that I prefer not to be in a group with. When I gave in, Mami called and with the emotions overload, I cried. It was pretty embarrassing.  A little bit after my little crying session, Sop and Aiman came up to me saying that they got me a different group. Bless them and thank Allah for that. Was glad that my group mates accepted me into the group. I wanted someone who was from Selangor before so it'd be easier for me and for us to meet up during sem break but two of my group mates are from Kedah. I really couldn't be bothered anymore. I was just glad that I wasn't grouped with people who couldn't stand me.  And I'm super glad that Amar, Zafran and Amir are my group mates. All of us have one goal and that is to get gold except for Amar... he wants platinum but he's a b...

And so... MPP. Okay. Tak perlu manifesto pun. Esok interview dengan Pengarah and HEP I think. I'm praying for the best. Before becoming MPP, Cikgu went around saying how we need to be like Farid. I think I picked the right person to be my role model. Claps for Asma. And after the whole thing, I approached Hakimi and asked him if he has a group for the project/research or whatever we needed to do and he said that he did. And that's it... okay. I was all upset. And so I went to Amirul. "Amirul, kamu ada group tak?" "Weh, kitaorg dah ada group ke?" "Dah en" "Dah kot, kenapa?" "Sebab cam, I tak ada group and nak cari the ones in Selangor kan..."  " Ermm, group yang tu tak confirm lagi, nanti esok jumpa kat class tengok macam mana." HOPE or nanti I'll have to beg people. 

I hope I wouldn't end up title-ing my posts with KMKN # from now on. That'd just be plain retarded.  Went to see Ustaz in the morning for the translation thing. And as I was typing my script, he was saying how I can be a typist. -.-' Printed it out and got really nervous and all innit. Went to the hall, listened to what we have to do for our 15% project. Gotta find people from Selangor/KL since we'll be doing it during the sem break. Sem break. :( Also listened to our advisor talk, well I think she is... Then came the moment... to go up on stage for the closing ceremony. Scawy okay. But I wasn't shaking. Went up on stage and had to sit on a raised platform. You know how girls would sit like nicely with their legs folded up in a weird way, I sat crosslegged like a boss. Got me feeling insecure. HAHAHA. I bet people were judging me. Wasn't that nervous at first, but the girl reciting the Quran was like shaking and so I started getting nervous.  ...

I had fun today during orientation. Lots of fun to be honest. And I also felt a bit betrayed... by Bro (because Abang would sound a little too awkward) Farid. Started today's activity with a session about our success... or something like that. I couldn't really remember. Through the session I found out that I look like a medic student, I drive fast, I'd be able to fit in well later on in the UK and that my parents don't have to sign anything when I pick which engineering course to take. We then had to 'discuss' on which is important out of these four: entertainment, rest, study and finance. We somehow were able to make the conclusion like this: Study, Finance, Rest, Entertainment. Farid told us a lot about himself and I began to look up to him. He's like my role model now. I want to be like him. I want to be someone here, someone who will be remembered, someone the teachers would talk about. I was told to dream big, Farid told us to dream big ...

Walking towards Dewan Badlishah (in KMKN), I was greeted with a stretched arm asking for a handshake. I was shocked and it just felt awkward but okay. Settled in and got Adani, Asmaq and Aida as my roommates. It has been 3 days and we basically go everywhere together. However, we'll soon be changing roommates and all because they want us to room with people from our own program. I am currently wondering why they didn't do that from the start. It's tough. Like, you've found your own mates and suddenly, you have to hang out with a group of different people.  Was waiting for the worst for orientation (MSR) but, it's all laid back and chill. Bless the facis. Sunday was pretty much boring but then 'Faqil' was there and he was funny. No, he wasn't actually there but there's this one faci that reminded me too much of Faqil. We had time to go back to our dorm for every waktu solat and activities would usually start at 8.30am and end at 10.30pm. S...

Ustazah saw how tight me, Jaja, Q and Jared were and so she shared with us her experience of/in/on (?) friendship. She told us, back in the 'days', she had a best friend. You know how you have best friends and then you have like this one ultimate best friend. A best friend that you're the closest too, spend the most of your time with, the one that's like your own sister... Well her ultimate best friend and her basically just grew apart from each other. They hardly see each other and even when they do it's because of marriage or a new baby. And she also said that it wasn't like 'long time ago' anymore every time they met. And that's because after high school, both of them went to different colleges, different universities and they had different jobs. They hardly had anything in common anymore and so they naturally just grew apart. And she said to us... or was it to me? But she said, as you grow older, there will be a time when you ...

We're always sitting around doing nothing. After getting bored of 'doing nothing', we go tweeting about how bored we are of doing nothing. And after waiting for retweets and mentions that we're not even going to get, we'll go on Facebook and post it up there. A friend recently said to me "If you're bored, it means that you're not doing something that is beneficial,"... it went something along those lines.  And so I gave it a little thought. A list of things came up in my head Clean your room Make your bed Wipe the windows Distribute the clothes Wash the plates Sweep the floor My reaction to that was  So I realised what my problem was. It wasn't that I had nothing to do. It wasn't that there was nothing for me to do. It's just that I was lazy. And then when people go around calling me lazy, devils around me would put suggestions up in my head of ways to batter those people up. That made me think again. Is it...

Sometimes, out of nowhere, something would pop up in my head... So yesterday, while chatting with my mates something suddenly popped up in my head. And it was of something I wanted and I don't usually ask for stuff... unless it has something to do with Taekwoon.  But this time, what I wanted was a graduation cake for my graduation... in 2018? And no, I dont want an expensive fondant covered cake. I just want a normal failed cake. A cake that has been purposely made to look as if something bad has happened to it. One with a visible failed structure. But the thing is, the key point of the cake should be a banner or anything really that says "Trust me, I'm an engineer".  And that is what I want as a graduation cake. Susu said that she'd get it for me. Yeay me? 

UTP MAS MAY 13 I walked into the Chancellor Hall and suddenly, my phone rang. Rock Ur Body. Can you imagine how panicked I was. I didn't know where the heck my phone was and I was just very serabut. Registered with Puteri and we ended up being roommates. Which was good. The new room was cool, with a separator in the middle so Puteri wouldn't need to see my annoying face 24/7. Lucky her.  Orientation was tiring. We had to pray Maghrib and Isyak at the mosque. And Subuh in the surau. Not complaining. However, every single day the activities ended after 12. And we had to walk all the way from our room to wherever our activity was held and back. Bless the facilitators though, it was raining pretty heavily on one of the days and they provided us a bus.  Became friends with some cool people. Husna, Ely, Puteri and Qis who we met later. Husna started hanging out with us when she asked Puteri if they could walk back together. And later on I met Husna and you kn...

Being in UTP was honestly a great experience. I loved the surroundings, I loved the IRC and I loved the mosque. I met a group of people who made my moments there fun. Wifi everywhere, LAN in my room, clean toilets, it's honestly an environment where I would love to stay at. Except the fact that it's located in a forest and I had no car.  Being in there, I felt as if I had no connection to the outside world. Even with the internet. If there was a war going on, I wouldn't know. Or it may have just been me. I might have disconnected myself. I didn't keep track of the days or even the dates. This one time, a friend of mine went "Asma, UTP's in Malaysia." because I didn't realise that it was already Friday. I went to the MAS activities, went back to my hostel, showered, slept, woke up, to the surau, MAS activities again and it just kept on repeating and repeating. I went along with everything.  However, what I realised was that every single d...

I was going through my old blogs. It's nice to reminisce sometimes and I came across a blog post. Don't judge my grammar because I used to not reread my posts to see if I made any mistakes. 020910 Because of her, I enjoy my Malay lessons. Because of her, I speak more Malay. Because of her, I understand more Malay now. Because of her, I look forward to going to school. Because of her, I look forward of getting my mistakes pointed out. Because of her, I enjoy standing up to answer questions. Because of her, I know how much a teacher should care for their students. Because of her, my Malay isn't that bad any more. Because of her, I learnt how to appreciate a teacher. Because of her, my ideas pop up in Malay. Because of her, I have learnt many guides to life. Because of her, I know what type of husband to search for. Because of her, when I go out, I can laugh at a sign that says ''Kedai Menjahit Pakaian Perempuan''. Because of her, I have tried dancing ...

It was last week, last Saturday. Woke up pretty late, since we slept after Subuh and got ready to go to Johor. Stopped at rest areas every hour (haha!) and headed to Kolej Vokasional Kluang. Arrived at around 1 o'clock or was it 11? I really couldn't remember. Met everyone there. KVP's teachers were really nice. They accepted my help with an open heart and didn't find me annoying eventhough I'm not the person they wanted at first. Met Balqis and Bie, I honestly couldn't remember the others.  After they won the 2nd round, we did some discussion about the finals and then went to Rail Hotel to shower and pray. Didn't shower though. Peace to the out. Brought an 'assignment' back to the hotel too. The teachers belanja-ed us bread for lunch and McD for dinner. It was good. Went back to the school and Iman and Balqis were checking this one guy out. HAHAHA. It's because he's cute. Stayed there until 12 something I think. Asking questions just to...

itsvixx I can't cut my nails right I hope Taekwoon would know how to

Early this morning, at 3.30 to be precise, I woke up to get ready to go to UTP. Papa drove there and I fell asleep when we were in Ipoh (I think). Sorry Papa! We got there, surprised by the number of people that were already lining up. It was only 7 o'clock! Waited in line and got a little bit pissed by the people who came late but went to the front. Typical Malaysians, glad I'm not one. 0:-) UTP looked awesome. I just don't know how to describe it. I'd go to their library every single day if I could. Plus, the whole campus had wifi all around. It was... just... great. Got into the hall and it was massive. Going up the stairs, a girl turned around and asked if I (and another girl) came alone and I obviously did so we sat together! And we were buddies all through the day. Puteri and I got along pretty well. It started with just a random conversation of what we were taking and then it felt as if I've known her for a long time. It got really comfort...

This song's on repeat

From  starlight1001 I would like a guy best friend. Someone who I could just basically dump my problems on. Someone who I could talk to about my best friends when I need to complain about them. Because guys don't chat as much as girls and guys don't judge and guys don't add fuel to the fire. I actually do have a friend who I can chat to like that but you know, not a best friend. I sometimes just wish that I have one.  I'm jealous of I and A. Why? Uh why? Because they're like besties. What do we have that you don't. It's like u hav a guy to tell everything to u know. Like when ure upset with us, u can mengadu to someone that is not a girl cos guys don't chat. Jap Asma, how'd you know I complain to A? HAHAHAHAHA. A bagitahu ehhhhh. Tak sebab thats what i do when i chat to D but he's not a best friend u know. how can D not be a bestfriend? i thought? D tells you stuff? He doesn't really, u know... talk. hahaha. cause D doesn...