ASMA HAMID

It was difficult today and it's only hitting me now that I have time think. I wish I hadn't started certain conversations and said certain things because all I've been doing this evening is going through bursts of break downs. It isn't great when you're alone and without a person to distract you from it. I had thought that this might be a way to let it all out so I could process my thoughts but I don't know what it is?  I think it'd be fair to say that at this point of my life, I should really start being careful of who I start conversations with. At least with the people I already know and trust, I'd be able to discuss ideas and find solutions. But leaving discussions open ended and with more questions can be quite deteriorating, at least, for my mental health.  I've pretty much occupied my time all afternoon by calling the people back at home but it's not like I could call them until morning. Nonetheless, I appreciate each and everyone of the c...

 It's my 5th time celebrating my birthday abroad and in all previous occasions, I've always had my best friends and/or my sister with me. This year... none of them were around so knowing that, I braced myself to not celebrate it. However, the Saturday before my birthday, Abg Lan, Kak Ida and Emma came over to surprise me with a cake and presents! I was deeply touched and realised it was good start for my birthday week. So, I did get a cake, I got people singing me a birthday song and I spent it with people who mattered. I then realised that I really didn't want to spend the next weekend on my own. So I texted my colleagues to come over on Friday. I texted my uni friends if they're free for lunch on Saturday. And I texted my Malaysian friends if they're free for dinner on Saturday. It was a yes for all. On my birthday itself, I spent some time receiving calls from Malaysia wishing me a happy birthday. My best friends stayed up until I finished work to have a group fa...

If you have been following me on twitter or have been unlucky enough to be included in my close friends list on Instagram, then you'd probably be a lot more familiar with the downside of my life.  I know I live a life a lot of people want to live. I work abroad, I have stability, I have work-life balance when I want to and I can afford to live comfortably. But I think a lot of people working abroad would also understand that with this, it comes with a lot of worries, loneliness, being homesick, the feeling of missing out and things similar to that. Things that if we were to express it, people would instead say "count your blessings." I can't deny, there is a lot to be thankful for. I sometimes sit and stare out the window realising how blessed I am. I have such a good life here, I can do whatever I want and not be judged. I am living in a lovely home. I don't have to think three times before buying anything. I don't worry about my bills, my rent, my pay or hav...